Maury, Tyra and Me.

This job opportunity couldn't have come at a better time. Lately, I've been getting sucked into the Tyra Banks show. It's by accident, really. My daily routine involves watching the Maury Show at 2 (just like college...more on that later) and Tyra comes on right afterwards. And many factors led to my watching the Tyra Show the first few times: the remote was too far away; there was absolutely nothing on the million cable channels we have; the set is bright and colorful and holds my attention; it wasn't Oprah, so it was watchable.

While she is over the top and has a tendency to yell for no reason other than because she could, she picks up where Ricki Lake had potential, before she went trash-factory and started down the Springer Show path.

*My Maury sidenote: During my junior and senior years of college, after two unsuccessful attempts at having roommates, I was fortunate enough to be chosen to obtain a single in a suite. I shared a "unit" with four other girls, but I had my own room and door to close whenever I was so inclined. During these years, my class loads started becoming more flexible, as I was starting my internships and portfolio classes. Some of my classes started at 8am, which allowed me to be done by 9-10. Instead of doing homework, I'd sit in my room with my waffles from the cafeteria, searching for something to watch on basic college cable. One day, I happened upon the Maury Show, something I hadn't seen since I was in high school. The episode that day was paternity tests and after the first "You Are NOT The Father!!!" I was hooked. Soon, it became a near-daily ritual; many days, if I had a 10am class and I happened to catch a commercial for the episode that day, it was over: I wasn't going to class that day. Not the smartest choice, and definitely not something to brag about to my future adopted Canadien babies. I didn't realize how bad it had become until I was sitting in my 400-level poetry class and my professor asked us to say something about ourselves...and here's what I said: "I sometimes miss class to watch the Maury Show." My professor seemed amused: "well, if you're not in class, I know where to find you." Saying it out loud just sounded so silly. From that point on, I went on a Maury Show diet and reserved it for when I had absolutely nothing else to do: no homework, no suite cleaning, no article due for the paper, etc. Unfortunately, unemployment has knocked me off the wagon.*

Anywho, back to Tyra. Many women still worship the all-mighty Oprah, and I have nothing but respect for the woman; I mean, she has bascially built an empire around talking. But I think her time has come and gone. And her retirement has come at a great time. Tyra seems to speak to a young, hip crowd and she's such a breath of fresh air from the homemaking queens (Martha, Rachel Ray) and the trash-factory (Springer, The Steve Wilkos Show, and, sadly, Maury).

Now all we need is a show for the quirky crowd: the people who carry a journal around with them everywhere they go; the people who wear Chuck Taylor gym shoes for every occassion, even weddings (perhaps their own); the people who like dressing up as Neil Diamond and doing karaoke. We'd share our favorite quotes from terrible 80's movies and discuss our secret love for The Monkees.

I guess I just gave myself a task for tomorrow.

Dear CW,
I have a fabulous new idea for a show that you'll likely cancel after three episodes...