Yak-yak-yak

It's not easy being a genius. I'm guessing, since I'm far from it. But I know it's easy being a complete tool parading around as a genius. There's a dude I know from the way back machine, from my old neighborhood, who just talks...and talks. And I think he believes that by talking at length, something will stick and therefore, he's on the path to being a smartie. Psh. More like a smartass. I know our parents tell us to have confidence in everything that we do but there has to be a line between confidence and being humble when we might be wrong and smugness and never assuming anything we say is incorrect. I get the feeling that my future career in the politics will only get me more of the latter, but I think I've put in enough time and gained enough experience to know how to handle the talkers. However, I won't argue with you (especially if even I don't know the answer but can clearly smell your b.s.); my mother taught me the "smile and nod."

My mother is a peculiar person: she's got road rage that has clearly been transferred over to me and will come down on customer service reps like the angry fist of Sasquatch if she's not getting the answer she's looking for but if you're in her face talking some nonsense and she knows it, she just smiles and nods and goes on her way. She won't waste her energy on your silliness; she saves that for our game of "How Many Incorrect Answers Can We Throw at 'Jeopardy!' Before One of Them Is Correct?" If you just smile and nod and act as though it's no big deal, people will more than likely decide to stop talking to you, which is the main objective. Let them go spout their nonsense to someone else who gives a damn. Sure, it doesn't solve anything, but at least they're out of your hair.

Unfortunately, the smile and nod can backfire and people may take your motion as a gesture to "go, on: keep talking"...and they do. There was one fella during my undergrad years, had a crush on me, who would unload about his day and his random encounters and would pull me out of other conversations, mid-sentence, I might add, to talk to me about anything and nothing at all. And all my smile and nod did was encourage him. What to do in those instances? Fake a hearing problem? Be blunt? Ah, add to the smile and nod combo: the look-away. I let him finish his sentence and then I'd smile, nod and turn my head, to look at the wall, the clock, the window shade. Either way, the conversation is over.

I'm not a mean person and I'm far from anti-social but I think fewer and fewer people are employing the "think before you speak" rule and there should really be classes/seminars on the topic. Now, this isn't to say that everything I have to talk about is relevant. But I evaluate my audience before I open my mouth. I think, "would my classmate whom I've only had one fleeting encounter with like to hear about the clogged up shower? Hmm, probably not. Maybe she'll want to discuss British Parliament instead."

I save the clogged shower conversation for the shower itself; that way, it doesn't complain or talk back...unfortunately, it doesn't unclog either, which doesn't help. At all.