"Dude, you just dropped a hard 'J'..."

Last night I received 5 hours of sleep, albeit slightly interrupted, but sleep nonetheless. And it was apparently enough fuel to get me started on my day. I've already started laundry, taken out the trash, made the coffee, read my email, prepared my materials for my final exam and started writing this blog. All in about an hour or so.

Seriously, Wednesday, when will you get here?

Wednesday answers, "be the fuck patient."

Well played, Wednesday.

In other news, Halbastram and I have been planning our summer run-through our hometown, the great and wonderful Chicago. Luckily, I received a few extra pesos to help pay for my mid-month trip back home for the mayoral inauguration. I have the biggest Big Girl Crush on the mayor-elect and I absolutely must meet him. It might have something to do with the Jewish Factor...

The Jewish Factor and Tiny Elvis: a couple of nights ago, I was listing the people who inspire me on Facebook and three of the six or seven people I listed first were Jewish: Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David, Rahm Emanuel. Jerry and Larry are my absolute comedic heroes and Rahm, well, that's my Big Girl Crush. He's tiny, but a very powerful politician. He has widespread appeal and he's got the mouth of a sailor at an old school Andrew Dice Clay show. Furthering The Jewish Factor is the fact that I have Neil Diamond's "The Jazz Singer" LP on constant rotation and one of my former closest male friends was 1/8th Jewish but I insisted on calling him "Rosenberg" (not his real name, btw). Why the obsession? Who knows. But it might be interesting to state that I have never heard a Barbara Streisand song or watched any of her movies. In fact, the only thing I really know about her is that she's married to Josh Brolin's dad.

Anyway, I have to satisfy my Big Girl Crush and will be spending $180 and 9 hours on the Amtrak to go and join the party. I don't think my mother is too fond of the new mayor but I'm dragging her along with me. I'll take her out for beers and oysters afterwards. This may turn into the most expensive random trip I've ever taken. And if I do come face to face with my *hopefully* future employer and object of my Big Girl Crush, I hope that I don't punk-out like I did when I saw my journalistic hero standing on the street last year (see "Shy Gal" blog). I promise not to grab his junk or anything, but I would be grateful to receive a handshake. After all, it is a Big Girl Crush: crushes for the grown ups. I won't act like I'm backstage at a Backstreet Boys concert, circa 1997. Since everyone has camera phones and whatnot these days, I don't want to ruin my future political career before it even has a chance to blossom.

This blog explores conversations that I usually only have with Halbastram, as ethnic and political discussions usually lead to losing friends and alienating people. Please read with caution and an open mind...oops...too late.

(The blog's title comes from an episode of "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia"...I use that line everytime Halbastram and I discuss anything Jewish related and I think he may have dropped a hard "J".)