Music. Coffee. Food.

Music.  Coffee.  Food.
My Three Pleasures

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

The writer gets her groove back

*the opening paragraph to my story. tell me: does this opening compel you to read more?*

Her glittery gold heels dangled over the side of the balcony, legs crossed at the ankle, the anchor tattoo still healing after being etched into her skin only two hours prior. The concrete felt cool under her thighs, her glittery gold sequined party dress riding up higher each time she fidgeted or uncrossed and re-crossed her ankles, forcing her to constantly fix it. Her black satin clutch sat next to her, the beeping of the cellphone indicating that she had a message waiting for her muffled by the tissue and crumpled bills and makeup and keys surrounding it. The late night traffic of Lake Shore Drive started to become more sporadic as the hours went on but there was always traffic. Cars and taxis zipped along much faster than the posted speed limit, oblivious to the dark, mysterious waters of Lake Michigan, with the flashing red light of the buoys reminding people of the lake’s presence. Scarlet remained transfixed by that flashing red light as she took another pull from her Marlboro menthol. This was more than just a cigarette break for her; this was a way to avoid Paul, whom she was told wasn’t even supposed to be at the party but had miraculously showed up anyway. She knew she couldn’t avoid him forever and, since it was her fault that they ended so horribly, she should at least own up to it and face him. But she wasn’t prepared. Not yet.

3 comments:

  1. So much gold glitter and description up front. It starts faster and gets moving for me at "Cars and taxis. . ." Also, purely personal and irrelevant, but I am opposed to this woman already because I refuse to be friends with anyone named Scarlet.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I agree with Mrs.L's comment, except I really like the name Scarlet.
    Way to get your groove back! :-)

    ReplyDelete