Normally, something on social media (Twitter usually) would spark my interest and send me on a tangent, but today it just wasn’t happening.
So I just spent some time tweeting at Cinnabon instead.
But then I started thinking about something from my childhood and, inspired by Throwback Thursday, I’ve decided to tell you a little story about that one time I made my former best friend from the 7th grade REALLY hate me.
It all started at the End of the Year school picnic in 6th grade. During the festivities, the most popular girl in the class took it upon herself to play matchmaker and pair up the singles. Hoping to be paired with my crush, I instead found myself paired with a boy named Keith (not his real name), who was a grade lower than me.
Picture a young, scrawnier version of Chris Rock. That was Keith.
I know this was Lana’s (not her real name) way of getting a laugh at my expense (trust me- I was a big ol nerd in grade school...still am, actually). But, to everyone’s surprise, Keith and I actually hit it off- as well as middle schoolers can “hit it off”- and we dated for most of my 7th grade year.
Fast forward to a month or so before we broke up.
Keith had a habit of always promising to buy me a diamond ring. As a 7th grade girl, hearing that the boy you’re going steady with wants to give you a diamond ring is like a Disney dream come true. But I didn’t hold my breath.
Until the day he actually produced a diamond ring. The story he gave me was that his mother had given him the money to purchase the ring. It wasn’t anything spectacular. The diamond was about the size of a speck of dust, situated atop a skinny gold band. It was too big for my tiny junior high fingers, but I wore it proudly anyway.
However, when I returned home after school, my mother noticed the ring. She asked me where it came from and I had two choices: tell the truth and be forced to return it; or claim that it belonged to Amy (not her real name), the new girl who I quickly became very close friends with, and that she was just letting me borrow it- which would at least get my mother off my back long enough for me to hide the ring.
I went with the latter.
Oh, but I vastly underestimated my mother.
See, from the start, my mother suspected I was lying. As it so happened, Amy and I were supposed to have a sleepover at her house that weekend, and my mother needed to call Amy’s mom anyway to finalize plans. What’s the harm in asking about the ring during that phone call, right? Luckily for everyone (mostly me), Amy’s mother wasn’t home, so that bought me some time.
The next day at school, I explained the story to Amy and how it would work: Amy found the ring in the park and let me borrow it. Why I couldn’t just lie and say I found the ring, I don’t know. And even though she didn’t have to, she agreed.
That night, my mother successfully reached Amy’s mother and, as we discussed, Amy stuck to her story when questioned by her mother. There were threats of massive punishments if it turned out we were lying, but I was confident we would get away with it.
But then...I grew a conscious. The day before the sleepover, I felt shitty for lying to my mother and dragging my best friend into this. And for what? So I could keep a pitiful little diamond ring from a boy one grade lower? Hardly seemed worth it.
So I confessed. My mother called Amy’s mother and told her that I finally told her the truth. Needless to say, the sleepover was canceled. For my role, I was punished indefinitely (it would be lifted one random night when I phoned my mother while she was out and asked if I could watch the premier of ‘Swimming with Sharks’ on Cinemax). This was on a Thursday.
By the next morning at school- a Friday- every knew. Because, while I figured that getting my MTV taken away was harsh, whatever punishment Amy received was downright cruel by comparison. I never found out exactly what happen to her, as she wasn’t speaking to me (and rightfully so), but the popular girl, Lana, approached me, smirking, and said, “Amy got in a lot of trouble for you. What kind of friend are you?”
A shitty one, it seemed. Despite my attempts to patch things over between us, she went out of her way to avoid me. She wouldn’t look at me or even acknowledge my presence. She asked to have her seat moved away from mine in class and started spending time with another girl in class (who would in turn become her very best friend, even to this day).
Needless to say, our friendship was obliterated. And I was pretty upset. However, as time passed, everyone forgot about it. I became good friends with another girl in class, broke up with Keith, was back on speaking terms with Amy (by the 8th grade- it took a while to even get back to being cordial with me) and even started dating one of the popular boys- with Lana’s blessing, of course.
As for the ring, my mother took it from me and hid it away. Keith never asked for it back. And as we all scattered to different high schools in the city, I had forgotten about it.
Somewhere along the way, the ring ended up back in my possession. I never wear it; it mostly served as “food money”- when the times got tough for my husband and I, it would be the first to go to pawn.
It actually served a good, useful purpose after all these years.
Despite this one act of selfishness on my part, I definitely learned my lesson on how not to treat your friends. Ultimately, I believe that the experience has made me a better friend. The burden of what I put Amy through- and the lengths she went through to pretend I didn't exist- weighed heavily on me. Friends can be your biggest cheerleaders and protectors, but if you exploit that in any way, they can just as easily turn into your biggest enemies. And it's lonely when you don't have anyone in your corner anymore. Amy was super nice and didn't deserve any of that. No friend does.
And, to Amy, since I never formally apologized, let me just take this opportunity to say:
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